Hi there, Wellness Entrepreneur. Welcome back!
Today, I’m honored to have on special guest Alison Pym. She’s a love advisor – the personal coach to help you feel better about dating, know your worth, find that long lasting relationship, and help people, especially who are unhappy in love, find happiness in love. Today she is here to talk about beliefs of a successful entrepreneur. In this episode you will hear her stories of success.
And you’ll love this blog because we cover a lot of ground here and especially the overlap between dating life and entrepreneurial life. So you’ll get so much out of this episode, so many great nuggets. Alison shares in both dating tips and entrepreneurial tips. So I hope you enjoy.
Alison Pym Shares A Bit About Being a Dating Coach
Alison McLean: Hi there Alison. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for coming on today. Can you tell us a little bit about what you do and who you help?
Alison Pym: Hi Alison. Well thanks for having me. I help people who are unhappy in love become happy in love. So right now, there are a lot of single people, people who have been in relationships or have never been in a relationship. I help them get back to a good healthy, long lasting relationship. It can also mean people already in a relationship who need to sort out some kinks, but it’s mostly single people right now.
Alison McLean: Okay, awesome. I love that! It’s so needed in the world because love really does make the world go round.
Alison Pym: Yes. Don’t we all know it?
Utilizing Your Skills From A Previous Job or Niche
Alison McLean: And how did you get into this?
Alison Pym: Well, COVID, and all of this, and people saying, “You know, we need to change our lives,” and things like that. And I was in real estate and I was thinking, “Right, I got into real estate because I love helping people and so I love helping people. I love love.”
And then I talk quite freely about sexuality and feelings and things like that. So it was all a bit of a process about what am I going to do with all of these skills? I’m always talking about this stuff and one thing led to another and you know how these things work. You just put something out there and then it comes back to you. And so this training course came back to me and all of this and that’s how I got started.
Alison McLean: Oh, I love that. And you say it so calmly and confidently. Like, “You know how these things work, I just transitioned.” And I want to pause there because it really is such a courageous, and I want to use the word magical but that’s not the right word I want to describe it, but it is so inspirational to hear that story of a transition because I work with a lot of clients and they might be a coach or a yoga teacher or a physical therapist and they want to stay in their field, their zone of genius and maybe just transition a slight niche change. And they have a lot of drama and confusion over that. So for you, to transition so seamlessly and do it so well, I think that’s such an inspiration for other people. Can you tell us a little bit about that process?
Alison Pym: Yes. So I’ve always been one to like if something comes along, I’ll seize the opportunity. And at some point I thought, I mean it’s good about seizing opportunities, but I also want to make things happen to me, make good things happen to me. And so I started talking out loud about art. I want to be helping people. I did psychology. I want to go back to that. And it’s just talking through it and not really expecting anything from it to be honest. Just saying it. This is what I want to do and I need to talk it out and talk it through. And it’s talking to loved ones and just people around me.
And then it just happens, you know? The information comes to you and then you sort it through without any high expectations. Just this is what I want to do. I’m not keeping it to myself, I’m putting it out there. And that’s how it happens. And so I don’t know about seamlessly, but it’s just a matter of, you know, I’ve done this, I don’t enjoy this, I want to go to this. And it’s just while making it happen and talking about it, because I feel that talking about it makes it more real.
Having The Mindset To Pivot And Follow Your Heart And The Ability To Stay Unattached
Alison McLean: Yes! So many great nuggets there. And you know, the common thread of it all and really, it becomes such a cliche saying sometimes in the entrepreneurial world, is the ability to recognize when the work you’re doing is not quite resonating and having the ability and the courage to pivot and essentially follow your heart, which is really what you did. And I love the process in which you went through to make that happen, where it was just kind of like brainstorming about it, taking the time to think it through with yourself, talking to others because indeed it does make it a reality. Like when you’re verbalizing things in the world, when you’re writing things down as a goal, and what I also love is this ability to stay unattached.
A while back I had a blog actually about this, about setting goals and the ability to stay unattached because personally, I experience when I’m very grasp beyond my goals, like it has to happen or else I make it mean I’m a failure for example, then I actually slow myself down. Do you find that to be true?
Alison Pym: Yes. Early on I realized that attaching too much importance to a goal is counterproductive. So a failure, not achieving that goal, I take very, very like it’s a hard hit type of thing.
Alison McLean: Ok, we’ll talk about that.
Alison Pym: Yeah. It’s a hard hit, but the just telling myself right, I want to get there and just not having, you know, I want to be successful within the next couple of years and having it being vague puts less pressure on it rather than I have to win tomorrow’s competition or else. And those are two extremes. And if I give myself too much of a precise goal, like I have to do this by tomorrow and not do it, it’s horrible. I feel horrible about it. But with this it was more of, okay, “This is the general direction I’d like to get to.” And so it’s easier to move through.
Unattached And Success Is Not The Same Thing
Alison McLean: Yes, I love that. And you know, it shows that there are so many different ways to set goals and they’re not all the same thing. Like unattached and success is not the same thing. And there are different paths to achieving the goal and failure’s part of the process sometimes. And it’s learning how to work through and feel the failure or the disappointment in our body or the ability to handle pressure but not be stressed out 24/7 all the time. So it leads to overworking and burnout, which is actually some of the work we’ve been doing together pretty recently. And how has that work helped you with this process of failure and pressure?
Alison Pym: It’s good because talking about it now as well is I’m realizing that I’ve started putting pressure on myself again where it’s not useful. And yet organizing, I mean I think the biggest help was just organizing my time and just having an objective of time invested and not particularly result-oriented. And just analyzing the data and just, you know, I spend an hour a day on Instagram and then at the end of that, what did that bring me? And there’s the difference between “Have I got a client from that or not, and not giving that any value,” versus just thinking, “Okay, this is what I did. Did it work?” And so that’s for the success and failure.
For the overwork, it also helps of having this, you know, clear “Do this for a couple of hours, do this for a couple of hours” and then you see what you did and then you don’t get overworked and this helps keep the mind at ease.
Belief, Mindset & Self-Worth
Alison McLean: Yes, yes. Because what you’re summarizing, and let me know if I’m putting words in your mouth, is that you’re separating your self-worth from making mean from the work that you’re doing. Meaning you’re not making the work you’re doing mean that you’re worthy, it’s work you’re doing that you’re passionate about and you’re able to analyze it and whether it worked or didn’t work, that two-hour chunk of time for example, it doesn’t impact your own innate worthiness at all as an individual.
Alison Pym: Yeah, I mean a lot less, a lot, lot less. I think there’s still some growth potential on my part at least. But yes, it’s absolutely that. I don’t give it any special meaning of just, “Okay, well this week I’ve got a couple of consults this week, but last week I didn’t have any and I managed to not give any meaning to that and was just, okay, that didn’t happen and it’s fine. What happened last week? What can I change this week?” And it’s readjusting. And so yeah, I’m not, you know, I’m working and sometimes a lot of things will happen and sometimes things won’t happen and it doesn’t reflect on who I am. It just reflects on just numbers.
Alison McLean: Yes, I love that. And I hope you realize how spectacular that really is, because so many entrepreneurs will look at that, myself included, I’ve been there, will look at that week of no consults and start it to make it mean a whole bunch of other things, which then slow you down from getting that consults. But you are able to just keep going and you brought in more.
Changing Your Negative Thoughts And Swapping Them For Cold Hard Facts
Alison Pym: Well, I mean just, it was yesterday, so I’m in France and yesterday was a Bank Holiday, but I still worked. I was like, “I haven’t got any consults and I’m so frustrated with myself.” But immediately as those thoughts came, I thought, “No, I’ve got a list that you and I did and this is why these thoughts are wrong.” And I went back to that list and I thought, “Okay, well this is working, this is working.” There were still thoughts of, “It’s never going to work” but they went away quite fast. And then within the last 24 hours, that’s when literally my three consults for this week came along.
Alison McLean: I love that! So everyone, take note. Go back and re-read it. If you don’t have consults or you know, whatever’s not happening that you want to happen, pause, notice the thoughts that are coming in and then have a list to redirect your thoughts too. And the trick personally I find is having thoughts that are a hundred percent and you can feel in your body that are believable. Is that true for yourself?
Alison Pym: Yeah, yeah. I only put the list. There are thoughts that, it’s called hard facts, you know? It’s not just I feel that I’m helping, it’s people telling me that I’ve helped them. So it’s screenshots of that, it is signing, it’s just cold hard facts that my, I don’t know, ego that’s trying to protect me or whatever, can’t say, “Oh that’s wrong,” because it’s not wrong, it’s afact, it can’t change. And there are probably 10, I mean 10 is a lot, 10 of just cold heart facts about why it works I think is a lot.
Alison McLean: Yeah, it’s a great number. Because then you can pull from different thoughts on different days. Because I find that like some days where I can feel a thought easily and get it and believable in my body and then some days I can’t access that same thought on a different day just depending on what I’m going through or the initial thought errors I was having in the beginning sometimes. So having a list of 10 is helpful to pick and choose from, but I love that.
And just having this evidence of your story, even if a reader right now doesn’t have that same evidence for themselves, that they can swap their thoughts essentially, or shift their thoughts, shift their energy to create a different result, now they can borrow your evidence, your story and see that it can be true. So thank you so much for sharing that. I’m sure you just changed a whole bunch of people’s worlds today!
Alison Pym Shares Some Dating Tips
Alison McLean: So yes, you’re helping people beyond the dating world it seems as well. So tell us a little bit, let’s get into the dating tips a little bit here. What’s the number one strategy you find yourself repeating a lot to people?
Alison Pym: It’s, I’m laughing because some of my friends are always, you know, joking about it. But it is Tinder. It’s having a good profile on Tinder and probably a third of my contact is about Tinder or other dating profiles. But mostly Tinder. Having good pictures and a good bio and only swiping on people who also have a good bio. It goes such a long way and people take it for granted. Sometimes I just talk to people randomly and then they’ll say, “Oh, I changed my bio and I got five likes.”
Alison McLean: There you go. Simple. Simple is best. What constitutes a good bio though?
Alison Pym: So on Tinder they give you 500 characters maximum. And within those 500 characters, only talk about yourself. For example, I like to travel. I’m not going to say I like to travel. I’m going to say, “Oh I’ve just gotten back from Thailand, moving around France a lot,” and I’m going to show them that I like to travel. And within those 500 characters, I’m not going to say I’m looking for this, this and this. Because these people, they don’t care if they fit what I want. They care if I fit what they want.
You see? So I talk about myself and I, you know, I don’t say that I’m funny, I make a joke. Think of it this way. Think of a movie. You don’t want people talking about what happened in the past. You want to see flashbacks. It’s the same concept. You don’t say stuff, you show the stuff and it’s 500 characters talking about you.
And if you can’t do that, just describe your ideal weekend. You can say something like, “Oh, well on Saturdays I do this, this and this and on Sundays,” and it just flows quite easily after that.
Alison McLean: Yeah, I love that. And guess what, this information can be applied to bios for entrepreneurs too, right? Because our clients for sure don’t really care about us, our thoughts and our certifications, right? They do care, we’re legitimate. But how they know that we’re legitimate is because we’re able to help them solve their problem or get their results. That’s really what they care about.
So in the bio, that’s what we talk about, right? Is what our clients are wanting. So lots of overlap there. So even if you’re married or in a relationship, then you can still take this advice and use it for your bios on Instagram or Facebook.
Alison Pym: Yeah. And it’s for people in relationships, it kind of, you know, you are your own profile. So just put a little bit of effort in, take care of yourself, do stuff, don’t just wait for things to happen. Just make things happen for yourself type of thing. If you know you’re in a feeling like you’re in a rut, then it’s okay to just go to the hairdressers and go out for a run or something and just do stuff. Don’t just talk about doing stuff.
Making Good Things Happen For Yourself Requires Work. This Does Not Mean Overworking
Alison Pym: I’m saying zigzag because to express the illusion to you, your readers, but it wasn’t very zigzagging, it was more of a flow. It was, you know, a bit in this direction, a bit in this direction. It was a lot of testing the waters. A lot of just, I’m going to try this and I’m going to try this. It’s just to show that it’s not a straight line and it’s not just that one step forward, it’s going this direction, deciding on if it works or not coming back.
I mean I did badminton with my father. I signed up to a book club and some things I like, some things I didn’t like. And it was just, allowing myself to test these things out. And it sounds amazing right now and saying it feels amazing. But it wasn’t amazing at the time because not all of it was a success, it was just testing these different things. And that’s the key thing: I’m unhappy, I’m going to stop doing what makes me unhappy and test something else until I find something that makes me happy, like planning and yoga.
Alison McLean: And the path to entrepreneurship, because I know you’ve heard me say this before, it’s an experiment. You have to test things. You don’t know what’s going to work and not work until you actually try it because everyone’s business is slightly different.
And I find that true to be about with the body and healing, like everyone’s body is slightly different. So the path to healing is never a straight linear line. So, so true on so many levels. Love it.
And how did you make it through the zigzags if you were zagging instead of zigging?
Alison Pym: I’m saying zigzag because to express the illusion to you, your readers, but it wasn’t very zigzagging, it was more of a flow. It was, you know, a bit in this direction, a bit in this direction. It was a lot of testing the waters. A lot of just, I’m going to try this and I’m going to try this. It’s just to show that it’s not a straight line and it’s not just that one step forward, it’s going this direction, deciding on if it works or not coming back.
I mean I did badminton with my father. I signed up to a book club and some things I like, some things I didn’t like. And it was just, allowing myself to test these things out. And it sounds amazing right now and saying it feels amazing. But it wasn’t amazing at the time because not all of it was a success, it was just testing these different things. And that’s the key thing: I’m unhappy, I’m going to stop doing what makes me unhappy and test something else until I find something that makes me happy, like planning and yoga.
Alison McLean: And the path to entrepreneurship, because I know you’ve heard me say this before, it’s an experiment. You have to test things. You don’t know what’s going to work and not work until you actually try it because everyone’s business is slightly different.
And I find that true to be about with the body and healing, like everyone’s body is slightly different. So the path to healing is never a straight linear line. So, so true on so many levels. Love it.
The Journey Of Experimenting as an Entrepreneur
Alison McLean: So how has that journey of experimenting, and maybe I already highlighted it here, but how has that journey helped you as an entrepreneur?
Alison Pym: Well, one of our talks a couple of weeks ago was saying that I was feeling too detached because of getting consults and signing or not signing, I was saying, I don’t feel like I’m investing enough. I feel like I don’t care enough. And then we talked about it and you said, “No, no, no, that’s not the right way of talking about it.” It’s just, you know how to take away the pressure. And I think that’s what’s helped because in that week, that’s the week that I signed a client. So yeah, it’s just showing that it’s taking away pressure from that. And of course there are still days where I’m feeling down about certain things on my business, but it’s helping me realize, “Okay, I need to change something else and if this isn’t working I need to go on that. And if that’s not working I need to go on that.” And not being stuck in, you know, one reel per day or posting such and such every day or contacting so many people, it’s just a flow.
Alison McLean: Love that. And since we’re on the topic of Instagram, because you mentioned reels and Facebook, because now Facebook’s adding in these reels, where can they find you on Instagram and Facebook? If they’re loving all this stuff and want some dating advice and as you can see, lots of overlap into the entrepreneurial world.
Alison Pym: It’s Alison Sarah Pym. So Alison, A-L-I-S-O-N, Sarah with an H, Pym, P-Y-M, all attached. It’s all of my social media, Alison Sarah Pym. And I don’t think there are many Alison Sarah Pym anyway, so even if you misspell it, they’ll like, it’s easy to find.
Alison McLean: Awesome. Love it. So go follow her. She’s got a ton of really amazing content.
An Advice From Alison Pym For An Entrepreneur Who Feels Stuck Or Unhappy
Alison Pym: Talk about it. Yeah, talk about it. And I mean, I’m not saying this to seem too nice, but contact you for that first free consult. Just because that first free consult kind of unlocks a lot of, you know, thought processes and things like that. It’s genuine, like talk about it and you know, find someone to help you talk about it because it doesn’t make it less heavy or something, it just makes it completely different, more manageable. It’s completely different.
Alison McLean: Yeah, it’s doable. Love that. Of course. Yeah. Come to me, I will help you.
An Advice From Alison Pym On What She Tried For Her Business That Didn’t Work Right Off The Bat
Alison McLean: Any other advice that you’d like to share with the listeners? I’ve got a question for you actually right off the top of my head here. What else have you tried in terms of your business that maybe didn’t work right off the bat and how did you pivot from that?
Alison Pym: Oh well I spent a lot of time creating a leaflet and a 10-minute video, an introduction video where I was just paying ads on Facebook and Instagram to get to it. And that didn’t work at all. And it was hours of work sp I was quite disappointed about that.
Alison McLean: And paid. So you were using, you had to pay. I mean another great example, because you’ve achieved these consults, we didn’t really specifically say this, but for the readers, you got all these consults organically. Not through paid marketing. So she had more success through organic marketing than paid marketing. It can be a very real thing. And not to say that there might not be a time that you might want to revisit paid marketing in the future, but you’ll probably go in with a different strategy and a lot more knowledge that you’ve gained now. And there is a time and place for paid marketing, but for sure you don’t have to do paid marketing to get consults and new clients.
Alison Pym: Yeah, yeah, that’s exactly right. None of the consults I’ve had come from paid marketing. So it’s, it was a learning experience and I’ve still got that content that I’m repurposing for reels and things like that. But yeah, so I kind of let go of it for a while and just thought, “Ugh, well I’ll change my strategy.” And again, it’s not anything to do about the quality of it, it’s just that wasn’t the right time for it.
Alison McLean: Yeah, a hundred percent. And I think you nailed that. It probably is really great content that you created and I love that you’re repurposing it, but you also highlighted a common pitfall that many entrepreneurs, myself included, have made where you spend so much time creating that content because we do want to make it valuable. And I’m stressing that all the time on the blogs that how, if we’re going to put like a freebie out in the world, make it valuable.
But there is a balance of knowing you got to cut yourself off at some point and just get out there and like really just talk with people, online or in person.
An Advice From Alison Pym On Working With A Business Coach
Alison McLean: Well, any other advice you would like to share with the people out there? What would you say to those who are skeptical with maybe working with a coach?
Alison Pym: Well, if you are a coach and you are skeptical about working with a coach, I say that’s a bit strange.
Alison McLean: I love that.
Alison Pym: There’s finance and things like that, but if you accept that somebody can help you be better, then you’ll probably be feel more legitimate yourself. I accept help and I’ll give help and it’s, you know, a virtuous circle.
But yeah, if you are a coach who doesn’t feel that you know, you need your help, then it is, just check in on that. How do you actually feel about that? Is it the money or is it just things like that? So yeah, if you’re a coach, probably a good thing to accept help yourself.
Alison McLean: Yes. And anything you could say to them because you’re a very courageous person to reduce the fears, like about investing or working with a coach.
Alison Pym: Well, I don’t know if I told you this, but you were the third coach I spoke to.
Alison McLean: Oh no I didn’t. But that’s nice to hear.
Alison Pym: Exactly. And I think that it’s okay to shop around and you know, in quote, I mean that figuratively obviously, but talk to a couple of different people and then you see the different values. So that’s one, it’s just, you know, you’re not locked into anyone and make sure you find someone who doesn’t lock you in, who you know is happy to adapt to you and your values, apart from the fact that we share the same name, I found that we connected so much with different values with yoga and holistic things and things like that. So I thought that’s good for me. So yeah, that’s the one thing.
And then when it comes to money, I think it’s just recalibrating and understanding the worth. And I asked you for your client successes and you gave them to me and that really helped as well. So it was an easy transition for me.
Alison McLean: Yes. Awesome. I’m so glad you chose me. It’s really been a pleasure working with you. I have to say, I love all these stories that you share and I’ve told you so many times, I was like, you’re growing way faster than I ever did! It took me years to achieve this. So congrats on your success and keep going. You really are an inspiration to awe.
Alison Pym’s Parting Words Of Wisdom
Alison McLean: So any parting words of wisdom that you would like to share with everyone?
Alison Pym: Yes. When you are talking to a loved one and you are sharing feelings, make sure you are saying it in the way that they can receive it and understand it. That doesn’t mean just saying it, you know, make sure you are using the right words and tone, non-aggressive, non-attacking. Say something along the lines of, “I am feeling like this right now. Can we talk about it?” It’ll go a long way for all relationships, not just dating, family, friends, everything.
Alison McLean: Yes, I love that. I’m going to have to re-read to that for myself because it is so true. I can a hundred percent say that conversations with Sean and even Kaylee, my daughter, go so much better when I approach it from that perspective. Yeah. And it’s really just the slight pause to remember as Tara Brock would say, “The sacred pause to remember to go forward from that place.” For sure. Awesome. I love that. Well, thank you so much for sharing your time and your wisdom today.
Alison Pym: My pleasure. Thanks for having me.
Alison McLean: You are very welcome.
Find Alison Pym here: IG @Alisonsarahpym
You can have this same success too. Your next step is to book your consultation call with me: https://igniteurwellness.com/business-coach-for-health-coaches/
